Eyes Wide Shut


“The more higher consciousness and energy you carry
the more you mirror and amplify 
the wounds, traumas and 
wrong conclusions 
in others.”

~ James Gilliland

   Working with couples over the years brought to my attention the blaring differences between thoughts, perceptions, motivations and qualities in men and women. For example, it became clear that circumstances, events, gestures, expressions, words and behaviors all meant something completely different to each gender. A man and a woman could love each other and want to be close, but their conflicting perspectives, motivations, stances and reactions were tearing them apart. 

   To understand this more thoroughly I spent two years in weekend courses in Los Angeles studying the differences between men and women to bridge the gap and create more harmony, understanding and bonding in love. These courses were magnificent and taught me so many things that have helped clients, friends and myself over the years, in terms of understanding, holding compassion and empathy, verses overreacting through misperceptions or misinterpretations etc.

  People have been interested, open and very thankful for the insights until I mentioned it to a friend I had not seen in over 20 years.  When I told him about the courses he became extremely agitated, angry and dismissive, saying, “Women take courses like that so they can control and manipulate men.” This could not have been further from the truth and it made me realize he was not speaking about me, he was speaking about his painful experiences with other women.

   I share this story to emphasize a point; when we hold old wounds, trauma and abuse we have not processed or released, we will project it onto others without even knowing we are doing so, and live in a world of fear and pain, unable to trust anyone.  When we hurt others in this way, we hurt ourselves.

   As odd as it may sound, the world at large is currently experiencing a sort of rehab called Ascension, requiring us to heal our addiction to fears and suppressed traumas. This could be a fear of lack, of being dominated or emasculated, fear of being unworthy, of being powerless, of being unlovable etc. Whatever fears we have been holding onto will continue to surface until they are transformed.  

   If you find yourself under attack or being misrepresented, or you feel yourself wanting to blame another, emotional release techniques are great tools to set you free for a better life.

  As James Gilliland shared in the opening quote, the more light and higher levels of consciousness (love) you carry, the more likely you will be to stimulate buried pain within others.  Don’t take it personal, and don’t take it on.


“Only love that continues to flow
in the face of anger, blame, and indifference
can be called love.
All else is simply a transaction.”

Vironika Tugaleva,